so that's what they meant by the chunker getting the chop

i went to the vet, things got fuzzy, and i woke up with my business sewn up. "the chunker got the chop, the chunker got the chop, high ho the derry o, the chunker got the chop." the guy sang.
"you're all sewns up, and you're all sewns up and you're all sewns up," he went on, apparently bastardizing a scene from Swingers.

i felt woozy all of last night. i sleep most of the time anyway, so the addition of anesthesia to my bloodstream put me over the edge. all i remember is the damn owners snapping pictures of me as i tried to sleep. that flash shot through my dreams like bolts of lightning.

some of their handiwork:

the guy: "the pigs with her pigs!"


the guy: "a portrait of two pigs!"


the woman: "the pig fell asleep on the pig! a pig on a pig!"


the woman: "awwww, the pig fell asleep in your hand"